The BIG IDEA:
God gives sex for a married man and woman to enjoy, to multiply the human race, and to point to the ultimate love and intimacy he provides us in a relationship with him.
We don’t understand God’s design for sex, so we miss out on the gift that it is and experience brokenness from using it in harmful ways.
Understand God’s design for sex and trust his power to experience it as he designed it.
A fire is a beautiful thing within the bounds of a fireplace, but outside of those bounds, it becomes a destructive force, consuming everything it touches. Sex is like that. God gave us the boundaries of marriage to act as our fireplace to protect us from the dangers that sex can bring. But, when we use sex outside of marriage (premarital sex, extramarital sex, pornography, etc) our lives become destroyed.
- What I want the group to know and understand: Sex is an amazing gift that God wants to give us in the right setting.
- What I want the group to experience: Gratitude to God for the gift of sex and hopefulness about experiencing it as he intends.
- How I want the group to respond: By trusting in God’s power to experience his gift of sex in a way that lines up with his design.
The SIGNIFICANCE OF THE TOPIC:
Most people think sex is an amazing thing. But not many people stop to think that God created it. Even fewer people understand why. Lots of students are having sex or are wanting to, but their lives are full of brokenness because they’re experiencing sex outside of God’s design for their lives. This study shows how beautiful sex is in its proper setting and why it’s worth reserving for its intended purpose.
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Picture this scene: You’re relaxing in your home on a comfortable couch with a fire burning brightly in the fireplace on a cold, winter night. Now picture this scene: You’re standing in the street in front of your home as a fire burns brightly throughout your home on a cold, winter night and destroys it. There’s a fire in both scenes, but what’s the difference between the two scenes?
Allow the group to discuss. Help your group see that in one scene the fire brings satisfaction because it’s in a fireplace, under control, and used for its designed purpose. In the other scene the fire brings destruction because it’s out of control and not used for its designed purpose.
1. Just as a fire is amazing in the right setting, sex is amazing when we experience it as God designed it. Read Genesis 2:18-25. What did God say wasn’t good after he created the first man (verse 18)?
It wasn’t good for the man to be alone.
2. What did God do about this based on verse 18?
He made a woman for the man to be a suitable helper for him. She was his equal but was distinctly different. See also Genesis 1:27.
3. Verses 24-25 explain God’s plan for marriage and the sexuality that’s part of that relationship. What do the phrases “hold fast (joined) to his wife,” “become one flesh,” and “naked and not ashamed” (verses 24-25) suggest about God’s plan for sex?
Allow the group to discuss. These phrases suggest that God designed sex to happen in a life-long marriage commitment between a man and a woman and to grow great intimacy between them. Science confirms this: the hormone oxytocin creates a pleasurable bond for those who have sex in marriage, but this hormone heightens our disappointment when we experience sex outside of God’s design. See this article for more info: https://bryanasands.wordpress.com/2013/06/23/sex-and-glue-the-emotional-bond-of-a-physical-act/
4. Read Genesis 1:27-28. What do these verses suggest about God’s design for sex?
They suggest that God designed sex in marriage to reproduce people to rule God’s creation and multiply his image, so everyone can see who God is and what he’s like.
5. Read Proverbs 5:18-19. What do these verses say about God’s purpose for sex in marriage?
God wants sex in marriage to bring pleasure and satisfaction.
6. Summarize what you’ve learned about God’s design for sex from these passages.
God designed sex to happen as part of a lifelong marriage commitment between a husband and wife. He designed sex to grow intimacy in marriage, reproduce people to show who God is and what he’s like, and give satisfaction and pleasure to the husband and wife.
7. What are some of the ways that you or people you know have struggled because of making sexual choices outside of God’s design?
Allow the group to discuss. Possibilities may include pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, shame, harder breakups, divorce, and having to drop out of school.
8. How does it help to understand God’s design for sex as you make choices that have to do with relationships and sex?
Allow the group to discuss. Understanding God’s design for sex serves as a powerful guide to experiencing the blessings of sex instead of having sex become a source of brokenness in our lives.
9. Think back to what we talked about with the two scenes and the fire. How does this apply to the way we experience sex?
Allow the group to discuss. Experiencing sex in God’s design makes it beautiful and satisfying. Experiencing sex outside of God’s design brings pain and destruction.
10. What choices or decisions do you need to make in order to see your life line up with God’s design for sex? Remember that God’s Spirit will give you the power to follow through on obeying whatever is his will for you.
Allow the group to discuss.
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